Friday, April 18, 2008

Homeward Bound

Homeward Bound
By: Paul Simon

Tonight I'll sing my songs again,
I'll play the game and pretend.
But all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity
Like emptiness in harmony I need someone to comfort me.
Homeward bound,
I wish I was,
Homeward bound,
Home where my thought's escaping,
Home where my music's playing,
Home where my love lies waiting
Silently for me.
Silently for me.
-------------------------

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I'm still feeling pretty shitty. Still don't really want to talk about it, and I know I couldn't find a way to put it into words if I wanted to. I think I am just feeling overwhelmed with being an adult. I don't like where my life is going; I don't want to live in Florida anymore; I want to go home to the life I used to know.

I feel an emptiness in my life; and I just don't know how to fill it. I miss my friends. I miss my parents. I miss my sister. I miss my aunts and uncles. I miss my old apartment. I miss the places I used to hang out. I miss my old job. I miss college. I miss being in love.

I miss the way the world looks after a fresh snow--everything is covered in white, and the snow crunches beneath your feet, and all the sounds are muffled. It's like you're the only person alive, and it's the ultimate feeling of peace and serenity.

I miss the sound of rain on the roof on the patio at Mom and Dad's house--I used to go sit out there when I was feeling alone or sad or angry, and it was as if the rain would just wash away everything.

I miss mowing the grass when no one was home. The smell of the grass and the vibration of the mower and the sound of the engine--it gave me time to sort out my thoughts.

I miss walking around campus. It didn't matter what season it was--autumn, winter, or spring--there was the ultimate feeling that I belonged there. Maybe I am lucky, Central's campus is so pretty no matter what season it is.

I miss the smell of aftershave on my pillows.

I miss building forts in the basement with Adam and Shannon.

I miss target shooting with my dad.

I miss watching Julia Child's cooking show with my mom.

I miss the feeling of someone's arm around me while I'm asleep.

I miss home.



I miss being happy.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang in there Matt. We miss you, too. Oh, and Happy Birthday, I know that I'm a little early, but hey.
Shannon

2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey you need to update. Silly, boy.
Shannon

7:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

6:27 PM  

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