Still In A Weird Mood

I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to shake this funk I'm in lately. I mean, it comes and goes depending on what's going on, but I haven't been really happy lately. I'm not really sure why that is. I think maybe I'm just tired, and need some time off from everything. Summer is only a few months away; I guess I'll just keep plugging away until then.

I can't motivate myself to do anything today. I slept in a bit and got up and had breakfast, but I just can't seem to get myself motivated to do anything else yet today. I know there is a ton of stuff I need to be doing, but I just can't seem to get up off the couch. I'm addicted to The West Wing, and it doesn't help that I bought two more seasons last night. I am just finishing up the first season, and I was almost free. Now I have seasons 2 and 3 that I will have to get into. Oh well.

I'm going to Brent's engagement dinner in a little bit. That's exciting. I really like everyone, but I'm just somewhat socially awkward at those events. I'm always afraid that I'm going to say something offensive or something personal that I shouldn't, and embarass myself and everyone else. I don't know why I get like that. These people are like family, as a matter of fact, they have been my adopted family for over ten years. So why do I still feel a bit uncomfortable around them? I just can't figure it out. Maybe it's just that I want them to like me so much, and I'm afraid that they will find something about me that they don't like and stop talking to me. God, I'm such a drama queen sometimes.

The rain changed to snow sometime during the night. I like the snow. It covers the earth like clean, crisp bedlinens, and hides the ugly landscape that has become dirty and muddy from the dampness. I think I'll go out and make a snow angel on the front lawn. The snow there is virgin and untouched; no one has set foot on the dazzling white expanse that spans from sidewalk to sidewalk beneath my patio.

I like that idea.