Overwhelmed

Do you have those days where you want to pull the blankets over your head and pretend that you don't hear the alarm clock? I've been having more and more of those days lately.

I'm in a rut, and I don't know how to get out. It seems like my days are all the same thing: get up, go to work, be stressed, go home (or to class), watch some television, eat some crappy dinner, go to bed. Repeat. Every once in a while there is a wild card thrown in there (coffee with Bradley, a movie with Karen, visiting my parents), but in general, it is the same old shit I do every day.

I think part of the problem is the fact that the weather is getting nicer, and I don't want to be stuck inside. This isn't what I had envisioned for my life. I always wanted to be a writer, so I could work when I wanted to (i.e. work until 3 in the morning, but get to sleep in). Maybe I'm in a poopy mood because I realize I'm not a very good writer, and would probably never be able to make any sort of living doing it professionally. I'd consider academic writing, but I can't even manage to keep up in my classes right now. Thank God for Cathy and incompletes; otherwise, I'd flunk out of college.

I'm not where I want to be in life, and it is making me extremely uncomfortable. But this isn't the motivational kind of discomfort, the kind which prods you into action. This is the oppressive kind, the kind that makes your chest feel tight and tingly.

Oh well.